Summer might be right around the corner, but that doesn’t mean you can’t apply to be a member of President Donald Trump’s “Winter White House,” Mar-a-Lago.
The satirical website Mar.alago.me is giving users a way to apply for membership to the exclusive Palm Beach club at which Trump has spent more than a quarter of his time as POTUS. Simply print out the joke-laden application, place it in an envelope addressed to Trump and the Mar-a-Lago admissions committee, and include a bribe (a 50-ruble banknoteworth less than $1was included in an application packet Mashable received).
The website is, naturally, covered in gold imagery and superfluous language. Honestly, it’s remarkably similar to the actual Mar-a-Lago site, which also features plenty of pictures of gilded chandeliers.
“At Mar-a-Lago, our professional staff is trained to lie about your every move. You’re welcome,” boasts the satirical site.
Visitors to Mar.alago.me are asked to print out a three-page application and post an image of themselves with it using the hashtag #MaraLagoMe. The application asks for basic information like name, home state and preferred membership type. Examples of different memberships include “Resident Family Golf Membership,” “Social Dining Membership,” and “Deregulation Panel With Turndown Service.”
The latter membership apparently includes the following, per the application:
A member in good standing of this Class is unrestricted at all times in the use of The Mother of All Clubhouses, the Im Not Golfing Golf Course, the Puzder Memorial Tennis Courts, the WikiLeaks Swimming Pool, the Globalist Cuck Fitness Areas, the Situation Ballroom, the Her Emails business center, any/all Sensitive Compartmented Information Facilities (SCIFs), in addition to the Goldman Sachs Sauna, the Dodd-Frank Vomitorium, and the Lincoln Bedroom (off-site). A member may, from time to time, receive special invitations to assist in revising the Clean Air Act, New Source Reviews, the Clean Water Act, National Ambient Air Quality Standards, export regulations, overtime regulations, and conflict minerals regulations.
Sure, your Mar-a-Lago membership application might be useless if you aren’t a billionaire, but we suppose it can’t hurt to try. Who knows, maybe you can sip Bloody Marys poolside and discuss national policy with the most powerful man on Earth.